Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
