If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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