Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
third nipple confirmed
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
