I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
