No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize