Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
