take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize