I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize