I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
