proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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