Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
