My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
we're so committed to being not committed
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize