the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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