he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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