ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
