I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I intend to get homeless drunk
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
