its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
