I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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