Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
