But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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