Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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