Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize