You can't motorboat a personality
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Ketchup is God's man juice
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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