"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
