Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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