covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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