Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize