Porn is love you can see.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
never play flip cup with pint glasses
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
