party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize