Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
