i don't like sucking hair
I need help removing her.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Randomize
