and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
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He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
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Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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