So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
