Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
