i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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