Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
