We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
