I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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