hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Sober January is a disaster.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
