UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
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The beers last night were like the tears from god
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
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I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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