do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
