Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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