is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
