matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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