I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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