well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize