I want to stick my p in your. b.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
