Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
