that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
