Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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