Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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