Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
