i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
