Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He shit in the fireplace
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
