Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
