No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
