At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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