I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
